


Grace

by shlaura



Series: Pretty Little Destiels [15]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: fallen!cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-28
Updated: 2013-03-28
Packaged: 2017-12-06 18:06:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/738575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shlaura/pseuds/shlaura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is afraid that now that he's fallen, he isn't enough for Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grace

”Dean?”

“Mmmm,” Dean acknowledged without actually opening his mouth.

“Is this…Am I….I’m sorry I’m not…who I was…before,” Cas finished in a small voice. 

Dean shifted a little, sitting up and moving his hand to run it through Cas’s hair. Cas was laying with right ear pressed to Dean’s bare chest, to his heart. He fiddled with the drawstrings of Dean’s sweat pants, wondering when Dean had put those back on. He was avoiding the sight of Dean’s face. 

“Cas, did you just apologize to me for not being an angel anymore?” It was a simple question. He wasn’t mocking him, as Cas had half expected him to do. His tone was empty of assumptions or accusations. Just a question.

Cas only made a noncommittal grunt in response.

Cas had been falling gradually, in nearly imperceptible increments since the instant he’d sided with humans over angels. For years, every day he was a little more human. But that whole time he’d remained enough angel that the only person who noticed as humanity began to creep up through Castiel, Angel of the Lord, was Dean. And then, with a kiss, in an instant far more intimate than most anyone could imagine, humanity had crashed through Castiel, tearing his divinity from him. In place of his holy Grace remained a soul. And it was battered and bruised but in that moment it was singing, because there he was standing with Dean’s acceptance, Dean’s reciprocation, and he could, at last, wholly feel what that meant. 

But the emotions, the capacity of his soul to feel, were more than he’d bargained for and he’d been leaning on Dean heavily since the fall. He had least of all anticipated the insecurity of self that came with a human soul.

“Cas, hear me now. I’m going to try and be as clear as I can be,” Dean began. He took a deep breath before continuing, because, after all, Dean Winchester didn’t do emotions, and he certainly didn’t talk about them. But for Cas he made exceptions occasionally. Cas was always his one exception. 

“I am happy with you. I love you. That would be true if you were still angel. It is true now that you are human. It is not true because of or in spite of the state of your soul or grace or whatever, Cas. It’s you, just you. Besides, I think you’d agree that the increased sensitivity is a plus for us.” His voice dropped have an octave and became gruff on the last sentence, as he walked his fingers to one of Cas’s ticklish spots along his spine. One of many spots that Dean had taken much pleasure in discovering along Cas’s body.


End file.
